Make It Count

A couple of posts ago, we wrote about a weekend where we were able to see our whole family and how rare that is for us. This past weekend we said goodbye to our grandfather, Pa. Whatever it was that caused his death, it came and went quickly. He went to be with the Lord only a few short days after everyone realized something was wrong. Family is a special thing and we have been mightily blessed by our family.

Things I will probably never forget -

• My wife speaking for the family about Pa at the funeral service. We will try to post what she said later. It was perfect.
• A pair of marines folding a flag and presenting it to Amy's Granny. This was a powerful image.
• Pa.

Clothes and a suitcase

If you know me, than you know that I love to shop at Goodwill. I think that it embarrasses my husband to some extent, but I love finding a really good deal. Over the years I have gotten some pretty awesome things there. Who could forget the 20 dollar rocking chair? I had to refinish it, but it is pretty awesome.


Well, I was there the other day, I don't go often in the summer because Sam is convinced that he is allergic to shopping, there was a ton of little boy overalls waiting for me in the 75 cent bin.

(Since we didn't request a boy or a girl we will most likely get a boy. For some reason more people tend to request girls, I think it is because they have cute clothes. It is very rare to get a girl when you don't specify the gender of the baby. I knew that I was ready to adopt when I didn't care if we got a boy or girl. I thought that having a girl would be ideal, her and Lucy could share a room, and we have an amazing amount of girl clothes.)

So, back to Goodwill, there were eight pairs of overalls for boys. Each were .75 cents! I bought four pairs, two shirts and a cute pair of Nike shorts (so our new boy can look like R.W.) the whole lot cost 6 dollars. The brown overalls are Janie and Jack! Seriously, who in Elkton wears Janie and Jack?


Now on to the best deal . . .


The suitcase was 0 dollars and no cents. We just went dumpster diving. It is obvious that Lucy loves it.

Weekend

Saturday -
0630 - Wake up
0700 - YMCA - basically stand on elliptical for 40 minutes
0800 - Go with Amy and Lucy to a morning meeting
0900 - Go to breakfast with Lucy
0900 - Amy goes to breakfast with ladies from church
0945 - Take a walk with Lucy down Main Street in Newark
1000 - Amy Lucy and I depart Newark
1100 - Amy is getting ready for weekend (packing, etc)
1100 - I am laying on couch like I cannot move
1130 - I finally get off couch and pack some clothes
1142 - We leave for birthday party at 1200 that is 60 minutes away
1230 - Arrive at Kayla's (my niece) ninth birthday party
1230 - 1510 - Celebrate wildly at lavish outdoor pool complex
1615 - Arrive at Granny and Pa's to visit. Pa is in his final days. He has been an inspiration to many
1645 - Leave Granny and Pa's
1730 - Arrive at Mom and Dad's (Amy's parents)
1730 - 1745 - Gleefully greet everyone and visit with Amy's parents and her brother and his wife and their kids.
1800 - Men leave for 'Batman'
1800 - 2230 - Women do everything that needs to be done for tomorrow's baby shower
2230 - Men return and notice nothing
2300 - Crash hard

Sunday
0630 - Dreaming about waking up, but resist the urge
0800 - Amy gets up, I think
0930 - I arise and greet the world
1000 - 1400 - More party preparation
1000 - 1300 - I try to help but I am just not very good at this kind of stuff
1300 - 1400 - I take my position on the couch and relax
1500 - Guests arrive
1530 - I leave the party with Samuel as the shower is only for the ladyfolk
1615 - Samuel and I dine at one of my favorite restaurants near Amy's parents
1715 - Samuel and I stop by another restaurant to have dessert
1740 - We arrive back at the shower. It is still going on.
1745 - I consume all of the meat kabobs that were left over
1830 - Most non-residing party guests are gone
1845 - Family relaxes and chats
1900 - I go upstairs to pack, but end up just laying on the bed
1945 - We leave for home
2120 - We arrive at home
2120 - 2300 - I watch the ESPYs
2300 - I go to bed while Amy is reading

My learning's from the weekend are as follows -

Spending time with my immediate family makes me really happy. I love them and I do not get very much alone time with them, but this weekend I got to spend alone time with both of my kids and it was great. I also got to talk with Amy on several occasions and she inspires me.

Having a legacy of faith is awesome. Amy's grandfather, Pa, will be remembered as a Christian man. Both of my grandfathers died before I was born, so I did not see this in my family, but Amy's family has such a legacy of enduring faith. It is inspirational and now we pray that this legacy will start anew the flame in those who's light has grown dim. Thank you Pa for living the way you have and may God grant you eternal peace.

Lastly, even though it is often inconvenient and difficult, it is great to be with our extended family. This weekend we got to see our aunts, our uncles, our cousins, our siblings, our parents and our grandparents. This does not happen very often so it was pretty special. I feel blessed to be part of our families and I thank God for them.

Meanderings on Waiting . . .

Hi! This is Amy . . . William said that more people would read if I wrote here. Sorry, this post isn't very light hearted.

I was out with a friend last night and we were talking about the adoption "wait." I went through the usual, we have about 8 more months of waiting (sorry Erin) and we are really excited. Then I went on to say that I wasn't sure if the excited part was true or not. I am excited to have a new baby, and I am excited that we are going to experience the amazing gift of adopting. But I keep thinking about what it would mean to get a referral (that means a child assigned to you.) It would mean that a mother and father are potentially dead, or a grandmother had to make the difficult descion, "I can't take this one," or maybe the baby woke up on the side of the road.
As a parent, one of my worst fears is dying and leaving my children. (Please don't comment and tell me that I would be better off or that the Lord would care for them, I know.) It is hard not to think about what our child will have to go through to get to us. . In some ways I wish that he/she wouldn't have to experience loss or grief or sorrow, but then he/she would not belong to us. I am not at the point where I can rejoice at referral time.
I know that the Lord provides joy in the time of sorrow, I have experienced it.

A Fun Evening!

So today I knew Amy was suppose to go out with a friend to dinner. I was suppose to get home from work early to ensure they could get out of the house relatively early. Unfortunately, I was later than expected. As always, Amy was very gracious about my lateness/job, but nonetheless, I felt bad about being late. So the evening did not start in a great place for me.

I am home with Lucy and we are trying to figure out what to do. I asked Lucy if she already ate dinner and she said that she had noodles. So my ideas about going out on a date with my two year old were thwarted. Instead Lucy suggested that we watch The Incredibles. This sounded great, so off to the living room we went. I started the movie and we snuggled. Lucy fell asleep on my chest as we were laying down and I also drifted off for a very pleasant nap. I was suddenly jarred awake by Lucy's excitement. She said, "Daddy, look - Incredibles". I laughed and we finished watching the movie. After the movie I took Lucy up to bed and we read and prayed together and she was off to sleep. This was a really sweet time with my daughter.

When Amy got home she asked how Lucy was and I told her she was great and we had a fun time together. Then she asked what we had for dinner. I told Amy that Lucy said she had noodles. Amy then informed me that Lucy ate noodles for lunch around noon. So, I had a great time with Lucy, but it turns out that I am a lousy father sometimes. I will try to be better tomorrow.

Do you remember?

Well, during this adoption waiting period, there is not always a ton of things to write. So, I think it would be a good idea to write about what is important. Things we dream about, things we enjoy or things that we remember with fondness from the past.

I was just looking at a picture of my wife and it brought to my attention two moments in my life that mean just about as much as anything could mean to a person.

The first moment occurred October 27, 1995. I was at a camp with my christian fellowship from the University of Maryland. We were in the first session of the night and a group from another college showed up a little late and clamoured into the room. I was distracted by the noise, but then I became distracted by far more. Up against the wall and under a light was a beautiful young lady. I am still not sure if she was shining or if there was a light over her head, but either way she looked radiant. I knew I had to meet her.

The second moment occurred March 6, 1999. I was in Annapolis, Maryland and I was standing in front of a church. I looked and I could not move. My eyes were fixed on this girl who appeared to be shining. This time I was sure there was no man made light involved.

There have been many special times in my life, but there are some that I want to make sure to never forget. I want to place them in my mind when things look grey or when I just want to smile.

Lord, help me to remember all of the things you have done in my life that have made it worth living. Thank you for giving me Amy and thank you for the life that you have provided for us. You are an awesome God.

How did we get here?

Since there may be some who read this blog that do not know the Stackler's, we have included a small slideshow below. The slides will take you through the past six + years of our life. The pictures are focused mostly around our children and our time with them.

Lord thank you for your provision in our lives. You have always provided our every physical, emotional, spiritual, etc need. You know our needs and you have proven yourself faithful time after time. Lord, we pray that we would be as faithful with what you have entrusted us with. Our spouses, our children, our families, our jobs, our finances, our time, our church, our friends. Teach us to listen to You and then to act for You. Help us to reach out and be bold. Thank you for saving us.

Brothers make the world go round!

Our six year old, Samuel, has gone on holiday to visit his grandparents.  This has not made his sister very happy.  Lucy has been mildly devastated given that her best friend/brother will not be around for a couple of days.  So, in an attempt to comfort our devastated little one, we journeyed across the cul-de-sac to play with our neighbors.

A short aside about our neighborhood and how much God knows.  Amy and I moved from our previous home a little more than two years ago.  We wanted to find a home that offered a good place for our children to grow up.  We wanted that old-fashioned neighborhood where everyone just hangs out in the evenings and all of the kids play.  We found just that, so bravo to the Lord for His provision.  You thought that was it.  Oh no!  Amy and I had also been thinking about adopting once Lucy was about two years old.  Not only do our immediate neighbors have children the same age as our Samuel, they are all adopted, two little girls from South Korea and one from Ukraine.  We saw this as a strong confirmation for us to adopt.  We are so thankful for our neighborhood, but most thankful to our God for knowing our needs and providing for them perfectly.

Now back to the story.  Lucy had a great time with the neighbors, but it was getting late and it was bedtime.  We had to say good-bye to our friends and come home.  Lucy looked up in the sky and saw the moon.  There is probably nothing sweeter than the way a two-year old talks.  "Look mommydaddy, da moon."  She follow-up her observation with an even more startling claim.  "Brother turned in on for me."  Even with her brother gone to visit the grandparents, she knew that he missed her and wanted to let her know that he loves her.  Children are amazing and I regularly want to be more like them.

Lord, teach us to believe like our children.  Teach us to get all of our baggage out of the way and see what you are doing.  Teach us to imagine, to dream, to hope and to believe.  You have overcome the world and you have given us a great inheritance.  Let us not live beneath what you died to provide.  You alone are great and worthy to be praised.

1000 to 1

The most recent estimates that I have heard put the number of orphans in Ethiopia around 5 million. I believe there are less than 5000 adoptions a year from Ethiopia. This means that there are at least 1000 orphans left behind for every one that is adopted. We are going to adopt one Ethiopian child in the near future and I am having a hard time imaging being in Addis, driving through the streets and leaving with just one. Obviously, I cannot take all 5 million home, but can I help all 5 million? I believe the answer is yes and it is by not forgetting them. Adoption is obviously not the solution for these children in Ethiopia (or anywhere else in the world), even though it is making so many of our dreams come true. We must be willing to ask God what he would have us do. Orphans and widows have a special place in God’s heart, and they should have the same place in ours.

I am looking forward with great anticipation to our travel to Ethiopia and our journey home. I am also looking forward to being challenged by God to not forget those in need. To me it sounds like the parable of the lost sheep, but in reverse. There is one that is going to be taken care of and 99(9) that are in need of the shepherds care.

Lord, I pray that you continue to take care of all of your children. I praise you that you are using adoption to expand so many families. Bless all those who are in the process of bringing these children home. Lord, challenge us to continue to pray for the children around the world that we did not adopt. May your mercy cover over them and us.

Names

Amy and I have always liked names with meanings. I know that all names have meaning, but we have elected to name our children with some amount of attention paid to what their names mean and not just what they sound like. Our oldest, Samuel, was born after we struggled to have a child for several years. His name means ‘God heard’ or ‘Asked of God’. Next we had Georgia Irene; her name means Farmer of Peace. Georgia was an idyllic peaceful child. Next, we had Lucy and her names means ‘bearer of light’. Lucy has brought our family so much light in her nearly three years.

So we come to our next child. We don’t know if they will be a boy or a girl. But we are thinking it will probably be a boy for a number of reasons, mostly because we have had a boy name since before Lucy was born. The name is Kaleb. Amy and I were discussing what we would name Lucy before we knew she was a girl. When talking about boy names we arrived at the same name without ever talking to each other about the name. There has never been a question that Kaleb would be the name of one of our children. The biblical Caleb saw with God’s eyes. He was not blind, he saw the giants. Instead of running in fear, he believed in what God had promised.

My prayer -
Lord, help us to be like Caleb. We all have giants in our lives that look undefeatable. You have overcome the world and you have defeated our enemies. Give us the courage to place our faith in your victory. Teach us to walk in boldness and live with peace. I pray especially for the orphaned children of the world, that you would help them to defeat the giants in their lives. Help them to trust in you and believe your promises. Rescue us all from our unbelief.

The Beginning . . .

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

This verse is quite familiar and like many who have gone before us, it means a great deal to our adoption story. Let me take you back to the day it entered our story.

Easter started off with great promise, the Stackler’s rose early in the morning to get ready to go to church to celebrate the Lord’s resurrection. While making ourselves ready our daughter, Georgia Irene, stopped breathing. The paramedics responded quickly and she was rushed to the hospital, but it was too late. Our beautiful baby girl died on that day, the very same day that we celebrate the Lord’s victory over death. Before we left the hospital, we had an opportunity to spend some time with Georgia, and Amy heard a curious thing from the Lord. She heard the above verse from Jeremiah. She was confused. “Lord, what do you mean ‘hope and a future’, she’s gone? The Lord spoke clearly, the verse was not about Georgia, it was about us.

In addition to Georgia, we have been blessed with two other children. After our youngest was born a couple of years ago, it was clear to us that Amy getting pregnant was an undesirable avenue to further increase our family. We prayed and agreed to adopt. Our search for an agency was very brief. We watched a promotional video from our agency and written across the screen was the verse from Jeremiah. It’s a common verse and it may be in every promotional video from every Christian agency, but it felt to us like God had given us direction.

Our prayer today is for the orphan’s around the world –
Lord, may the words of Jeremiah ring true in all of our hearts. Help us not to view the circumstances in our lives as unmovable barriers, but rather as opportunities to trust in You. Care for the children who need your help today and encourage them to dream dream’s filled with hope. Encourage those who are able, to reach out into world and care for these children.